I’m back!

Only for a little while though. My computer is broken :[

and I had so many unimportant things to discuss! Like how I bought my Michael Phelps corn flakes when I really eat Frosted Flakes. And oh yeah I plan on keeping that box.

I am watching TCM today because its their memorial day to Paul Newman, and though I am still extremely sad, I can not help but marvel at the beauty that is Paul Newman. Seriously, I always thought that man was extremely hot and I always will. He was amazing. AMAZING! He stayed with his wife, did all that charity work, and was a really good actor.

You may not think so, but I sure do.

Just watch it. You see? Gorgeousssss.

New Skins tonight! Woooo!

and hmm. New Seventeen. I want that Harajuku Lovers perfume and Miss Dior Cherie or whatever its called. I hate Ashley Tisdale, but highly enjoyed the lesbian story (ice pops? it was too cute!), but a little generic to me. The best kiss ever thing didn’t really offer anything new either. Atoosa needs to come back! This new editor is terrible. I loved Atoosa.

Oh and we had our parade on Friday and one of the swim team kids wrote “Lochte” on his back (I guess because he had curly hair?) So I really wanted to take a picture of his back and post it because Lochte things make me excited.

Alsooo, I watch about 5 minutes of this Sydney Olympics thing today because all I cared about was the swimming portion, but all they talked about was Ian Thorpe (THORPEDO!!!) at the tender age of 17. I didn’t know he was that young actually. And in the background was JASON LEZAK! He has one hot bod.

So I’m going to call it a day and actually finish what I came over here for, which was research Vietnam.

We can get our swimmer fixes in 2009!

Weren’t you all worried you would not be able to see our favorite swimmer’s and their torsos for another four years (and a swimmer I know even said Eamon might not be there!)?

Well, we have something to get us through.

I guess this is old news (like… month old news) but NBC will be broadcasting the swimming world championships until the next summer Olympics. This is probably because NBC wants to milk Michael for all he’s worth. They obviously would not have picked this up without the Phelps.

Now we will get our swimming fixes without having to have multiple interuptions for gymnastics.

 And for all of those airplane commercials with Michael Phelps…

This one I posted a little while ago on Perez. Highlight would be the torso.

Then we have this one. Phelps sings Don’t Stop Believin’ very strangely.

And then the prank one, with adorable smile.

I would also like to know why Ryan Lochte isn’t doing any talk shows.

pictures, pictures, pictures.

Well, not that many.

awkward suit, Lochte. Pretty sure this was at fashion week.

Ryan, you were just too adorable at the NYSE.

And Jason Lezak on Coooonan Oooo’Brieeeen! He has a really good personality, actually. I wish he was my uncle. And he admits that the French and US swimmers really didn’t like each other outside the Watercube either. Well, he just says that they aren’t friends, but I bet there were many a dirty looks in the Olympic Village.

Conan tends to be really awkward with his guests, but I think this one was really good.\

 

Edit: I’ve just been told Lochte was golfing in Ocala today. I’ve been watching the news so I don’t know how I missed that update, but just in case you have been avidly stalking him I wanted to give you a heads up.

Let’s do a weekend wrap up.

IT SMELLS LIKE PEPPER!

But first-

Hey perverts, stop trying to find Sarah Palin naked, ok? Yeah, I know what you’re searching on google! And no, I do not have pictures, links, or any other forms of infomation.

 

But anyway, about SNL… it was really boring except for slight glimpses of Michael’s torso, Andy Samberg’s facial expressions, and Tina Fey as Sarah Palin. She was so dead on, it was hilarious. (To watch click here)And oh! Nutella! A giant jar of Nutella. That stuff is like 190 calories for every 2 tablespoons, so I must eat about 400 calories worth of nutella everyday. But I digress. I have been walking around my house dancing and saying “fancy pants” though. Oh another good thing… Debbie Phelps!!! Michael’s male version of Joan Cusack in 16 Candles was pretty funny, but other than that, the boy can not act, or read teleprompters. And I was laughing during that pepper skit. It was really random, but I found it funny. Lil’ Wayne was boring, too. Sad. And what was with no shirtless Phelps skits or a Lochte/Phelps bromance skit. But we got a skit about the smell of pepper? That makes nooo sense. The bromance one would have been so obvious to me.

The Women sucked big time. Eva Mendes is no Joan Crawford, let me tell you. the 1939 version was sooo much better.

and now I have to go to school tomorrow as an angel fish, so yeahhh. That’s going to be really fun…. AND I’M GOING TO MISS JASON LEZAK ON ELLEN! Not only that, but I went to Wal-Mart yesterday, and I specifically wanted Frosted Flakes for my Michael Phelps box (yes, like a little child) but do you think he was actually on it yet? No. What are they waiting for… we need to get those things going! So now I have my stupid Tony the Tiger box. Omgosh. Someone tape Lezak for me and post it on youtube.

Does the Ellen site have videos of the show?

Oprah! You and your head!

This was the BEST OPRAH EVER!

I was planning to liveblog it, but I couldn’t take my eyes off for a second because I didn’t know who I would have missed. And surpringly, instead of Michael, I think it was Mamma Phelps who got the most air time.

So, Oprah must have said Chicago like 40 times before the athletes finallycame out, and guess who was first??? Ryan Lochte! Followed by Phelps. He looked SO DAMN CUTE I COULD HAVE DIED. That curly hair just gets me. It really does. Then the male swimmers were directly behind Oprah in interviews, buttt Ryan Lochte was DIRECTLY behind Oprah, and whenever she was on I was hoping she would permanently move her head. Just think… if he was one seat over I could have seen him for a good part of the show, but I did see him a good bit. And then during some credit card thing, I think they showed Debbie Phelps like… touching his head or something. I’m pretty sure it was him. At the time I was just looking up from my Vogue. It was cute, though. And Garrett Weber-Gale was a DOLL.

Then we saw Natalie Coughlin, too! She looks so sweet, I want to be best friends with her.  And Jason LEZAK! I love him, too. I wish he was my uncle. Pretty much I want to be related somehow to all Olympic swimmers, you know… except the bald kid who licks his goggles and that French slut. Oh and Dara Torres talked too She is so inspiring, but my mother like to ruin it by saying “Do you know how rich she is? Have you seen her house? She probably has a nanny, and a chef, and everyone to take care of everything for her so she can swim all day.” Thanks, ma. Watching it a second time, Ryan loked pretty damn confused when she was speaking.

Then there was Nastia and Shawn, and Kerri and Misty (Kerri is so tall!), and the basketball players, and the ADORABLE gymnasts. I actually just consider Jonathan and Justin adorable, but I like the other ones too. Just not as much. ADORABLEEEE. And OMG who saw that awkward cart wheel by a random track runner? That was so embarrassing.

And to top it all off my favorite American Idol ever DAVID COOK was there! Then all of the athletes got to go into the crowd where it looked as if Lochte was chewing gum. There was one more shot of Rye Rye and then the highlight of my month came to a close.

 

Oh Ryan, even if you chew gum on Oprah and are not the most eloquent speaker, I just want to let you know that I will miss you. So, so much. And that I will be watching your videos on youtube for the next four years, or until I find a new husband. But I know that one day we will serendipitously be in the same place… like Halloween Horror Nights or Daytona Beach, and I will say “hey! you’re Ryan Lochte!” after everone else forgets your name and YOU WILL fall madly in love with me. I’ll just turn 18, get myself a nose job and we will live happily ever after. It’s happening. Maybe not the nose job, but IT’S HAPPENING.

Don’t leave me!

 

 

P.S. I have decided that I want to be Rihanna ever since last nights VMAs. Or maybe Gwen Stefani. Or Pink. But mostly Rihanna.

yeahhhh! Oprah’s guest list.

Guess what I found?!

Oprah’s guest list!!! I read somewhere Ryan lochte wouldn’t be there, but I guess not?

The Olympic medalists participating in “The Oprah Winfrey Show” season
premiere include the following:

Baseball
Jeremy Cummings, Brian Duensing, John Gall, Mike Koplove, Terry Tiffee,
Casey Weathers

Basketball (Men’s)
Carmelo Anthony, Carlos Boozer, Chris Bosh, Kobe Bryant, Dwight Howard,
Jason Kidd, Chris Paul, Tayshaun Prince, Michael Redd, Dwyane Wade, Deron Williams

Basketball (Women’s)
Tamika Catchings, Sylvia Fowles, Kara Lawson, Lisa Leslie, DeLisha Milton,
Candace Parker, Katie Smith

Beach Volleyball (Men’s)
Phil Dalhausser and Todd Rogers

Beach Volleyball (Women’s)
Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh

BMX Racing (Men’s)
Mike Day, Donny Robinson

BMX Racing (Women’s)
Jill Kintner

Boxing (Men’s)
Deontay Wilder

Cycling (Women’s)
Kristin Armstrong

Decathlon (Men’s)
Bryan Clay

Equestrian (Men’s)
Will Simpson

Equestrian (Women’s)
Laura Kraut, Gina Miles

Fencing (Men’s)
Tim Morehouse, Jason Rogers, Keeth Smart, James Williams

Fencing (Women’s)
Emily Cross, Erinn Smart, Hanna Thompson, Mariel Zagunis

Gymnastics (Men’s)
Alexander Artemev, Raj Bhavsar, Joe Hagerty, Jonathan Horton, Justin Spring, Kevin Tan

Gymnastics (Women’s)
Shawn Johnson, Nastia Liukin, Chellsie Memmel, Samantha Peszek, Alicia
Sacramone, Bridget Sloan

Judo (Women’s)
Ronda Rousey

Rowing (Men’s)
Josh Inman, Marcus McElhenney, Dan Walsh

Rowing (Women’s)
Erin Cafaro, Anna Cummins, Susan Francia, Michelle Guerette, Caroline Lind, Elle Logan, Lindsay Shoop, Mary Whipple

Sailing (Men’s)
Zach Railey

Sailing (Women’s)
Anna Tunnicliffe

Shooting (Men’s)
Walton G. Eller, Vincent Hancock, Jason Turner

Shooting (Women’s)
Corey Cogdell, Kim Rhode

Soccer (Women’s)
Nicole Barnhart, Shannon Boxx, Rachel Buehler, Lori Chalupny, Stephanie Cox, Angela Hucles, Carli Lloyd, Kate Markgraf, Heather Mitts, Heather O’Reilly, Christie Rampone, Hope Solo, Lindsay Tarpley, Aly Wagner

Softball
Monica Abbott, Laura Berg, Crystl Bustos, Andrea Duran, Jennie Finch, Tairia
Flowers, Victoria Galindo, Lovie Jung, Kelly Kretschman, Caitlin Lowe, Jessica Mendoza, Stacey Nuveman, Natasha Watley

Swimming (Men’s)
Ian Crocker, Mark Gangloff, Matt Grevers, Brendan Hansen, Cullen Jones,
Jason Lezak, Ryan Lochte, Aaron Peirsol, Michael Phelps, Peter Vanderkaay,
Garrett Weber-Gale

Swimming (Women’s)
Elaine Breeden, Caroline Burckle, Natalie Coughlin, Margaret Hoelzer, Katie
Hoff, Megan Jendrick, Kara Lynn Joyce, Christine Magnuson, Christine
Marshall, Lacey Nymeyer, Allison Schmitt, Emily Silver, Julia Smit, Rebecca
Soni, Dara Torres, Kim Vandenberg

Taekwondo (Men’s)
Steven Lopez, Mark Lopez

Taekwondo (Women’s)
Diana Lopez

Track and Field (Men’s)
Bershawn Jackson

Track and Field (Women’s)
Allyson Felix, Shalane Flanagan, Hyleas Fountain, Monique Henderson, Sanya
Richards, Stephanie Brown Trafton, Sheena Tosta

Volleyball (Men’s)
Gabe Gardner, Tom Hoff, Rich Lambourne, David Lee, Ryan Millar, Reid Priddy, Riley Salmon, Scott Touzinsky

Volleyball (Women’s)
Lindsey Berg, Heather Bown, Kim Glass, Tayyiba Haneef-Park, Robyn Ah Mow-Santos, Danielle Scott-Arruda, Stacy Sykora, Kim Willoughby

Water Polo (Men’s)
Tony Azevedo, Layne Beaubien, Brandon Brooks, Peter Hudnut, Rick Merlo,
Merrill Moses, Jeff Powers, Peter Varellas, Adam Wright

Water Polo (Women’s)
Patricia Cardenas, Natalie Golda, Alison Gregorka, Brittany Hayes, Jaime Hipp, Heather Petri, Jessica Steffens, Moriah Van Norman, Brenda Villa, Elsie Windes

Wrestling (Men’s)
Henry Cejudo

Wrestling (Women’s)
Randi Miller

Aren’t you guys EXCITED?!?!?!

I hope Lochte gets some good screen time because we know Phelps is going to be having close up shots every 5 seconds. And Jonathan Horton will be there! YES! I bolded everyone I was really happy about. This really will be the best Oprah ever if all those people are there. But where is Lebron and Ricky Berens???