Well, leave it to Tyra to have Robert Pattinson bite her, and do it in a very awkward manner. Tyra always makes me feel secondhand embarrassment.
ugh, what an angel. I wish he bit Ellen instead though. Tyra drives me crazyyy.
Ellen!
I’ve heard mixed reviews about the movies. Some people were like “It was AMAZING!” and others said it was unintentionally hilarious. And then some other girl said that Rob looked so good it hurt her eyes. Well, I’m sure I will agree with all of them. Cheesy movies are my favorite!
So, I finished the Twilight series and I must say I was completely horrified by the last book. Just stop reading if you don’t want to know.
First of all, I NEVER want to be pregnant. ever. I don’t care if normal babies don’t crack spines and ribs and make you throw up all the blood you had to drink. I just don’t even want any creature inside of me. Ew, and it had to be delivered via Edward tearing away at her uterus. Tearing away with his teeth, which provided some lovely imagery. And who would have thought vampires could knock up humans.
Also, it just moved so quickly. In the first book she was a junior in high school, then all of a sudden she’s married, popping out a demon child, and gets turned into a vampire. And through the whole thing she is acting like a 40 year old. And then it made me sad thinking about my life. I’m just not prepared for marriage let alone children. I shudder at the idea. Just too much for me to handle.
And I was also depressed by this weird “love” thing going on. It basically made it seem like “Hey, whoever you fall in love with isn’t going to be half as good as this love so that’s too damn bad for you because vampires don’t exist.” … Maybe I’m just overreacting, but really, must she make it sooo suicidal sounding? What an unhealthy relationship, but its still going “hey this is the best thing in the world. Go find someone you want to go jump off a cliff for.”
So melodramatic. Quite an unhealthy read for teen girls.
But!!!! MOVIEEEEEEEE!
Its already getting bad reviews, and I could not be less surprised or more excited. I’m seeing on Sunday and will completely enjoy every shallow word spoken by those lost, lost souls. A dark room with a big screen and Rob’s face. Life will be perfect. I kind of feel bad for him because he seems like he really wants to be a serious actor. Hopefully he gets some substantial movies coming his way. Poor things is surrounded by delusional girls who are crying at his feet. God, I would be so embarrassed if I just started to cry in front of him. I’m not going to lie, there would be a good chance I might, but I would definitely make fun of myself later. I would probably just stare like I did at the So You Think You Can Dance tour. Its horrible how I couldn’t even get a “Hi” out to Pasha or Neil. Just stared. They aren’t even famous. Maybe I would cry, then.
Awkward? Absolutely. But hey, he said it himself. Honestly, who thinks to say that when someone asks how you style your hair? Maybe you just have to be creative after hearing the same question a million times.
But anyway, that title has nothing to do with this post. It was just too hard to resist. (actually… scroll all the way down)
This post is actually about how I can not stand Christina Aguilera anymore. She is such a trendfollower, when she has this huge chance to be a trendsetter, and its soo annoying. First she followed the whole ‘Old Hollywood’ thing when Dita von Teese was really being talked about and all the actresses were wearing red lipstick, and now she has completely ripped off Lady GaGa and playing dumb (while also being extremely rude). Ugh. I’d rather you be “dirrty” again, Christina. Perez is right on this issue.
And you know what? I hope Britney makes a comeback soon so she can come back to claim her spot that Xtina filled while she was crazy! We allll know who was the most popular back in the day. “Hit Me Baby One More Time” completely outshines “Genie in a Bottle.”
So since stepping out of Britney’s shadows, Christina has climbed the charts with redoing an Anderson Sisters song, the Bugle Boy one, and now she is making it all techno-dancey because people like Lady GaGa are climbing out of indie obscurity.
The blunt, bleach blonde hair, bold makeup, and now references to pop-art music? Way to be a follower.
So I stayed up until 12 reading that damn Twilight book, and though it is not the most fantastic work of literature by any means, the author is horrible at choosing clothes for her characters, for God’s sake we know Edward has pretty eyes, and Bella genuinely pissed me off with her lost puppy attitude, I am so inexplicably hooked. For a very informative post on this extremely ridiculous, yet crack-like book please see this by 1416 and Counting. It pretty much mirrors most of my opinions.
Now I am dying to see the movie. And oh… Robert Pattinson. He’d make anything better. He is so strangely beautiful I just don’t even know why I love to stare at him. Ugh, I feel like such a fangirl. And as much as I hate the squealing, celebrity (or swimmer) obsessed girls in the world, I have to admit, I am probably one of the highest-pitched of them all. Its embarrassing, but true. I also have celebrity ADHD. I sort of latch on to celebrities for brief time periods, but become seriously infatuated with them. …so, so sad.
I’m normal though, I swear!
Anyway, when the book introduced the vampires sitting at a lunch table Moby’s song was playing in my head. You know the “…Look at us we’re beautiful. All the people push and pull…” or however it goes. Just letting you know. I kind of wish I had vampires at my school, because lord knows there certainly are no Edward Cullens. Not ever remotely close. Ew.
Ugh, I don’t even care that I will be paying the overpriced $9 to see this movie, plus however much my carton of raspberries, bottle of water, and possibly a turkey wrap I’m sneeking in from Publix will be, to see this absolutely cheesetastic movie with super strong flying people all over the place. It has Robert Pattinson being a mysterious vampire. That’s enough for me. And plus, I highly enjoy ridiculous movies ok? I watched She’s the Man like literally about 4 times in 3 days.
He’s like Ed Westwick. Yeahhh that’s who he reminds me of. Only better.
Weren’t you all worried you would not be able to see our favorite swimmer’s and their torsos for another four years (and a swimmer I know even said Eamon might not be there!)?
Well, we have something to get us through.
I guess this is old news (like… month old news) but NBC will be broadcasting the swimming world championships until the next summer Olympics. This is probably because NBC wants to milk Michael for all he’s worth. They obviously would not have picked this up without the Phelps.
Now we will get our swimming fixes without having to have multiple interuptions for gymnastics.
And for all of those airplane commercials with Michael Phelps…
This one I posted a little while ago on Perez. Highlight would be the torso.
Then we have this one. Phelps sings Don’t Stop Believin’ very strangely.
And then the prank one, with adorable smile.
I would also like to know why Ryan Lochte isn’t doing any talk shows.
Aw, scrunchy face. But Kaitlin Sandeno? Um, I think you can shoot a little higher now (or lower… we’re getting married remember?). And she has a total witch laugh.
Wtf did Eamon say? The Teek? You’d think someone would pick Aquaman. Hahaha, “Superhe… Bananaman!” That’s what I’m being for Halloween this year, let me tell you.
Bitch! I want to be Michael’s brother! Just kidding Katie, you seem like a nice girl, just a bit of an Olympics let-down.
Oh and this was posted a little while ago. Ryan and Michael like to discuss girls. Judging by Ryan’s Olympic crush and Michael’s strippers, they’re probably cheepy looking. Its ok. You guys can talk about me.
With his mom and sisters cheering him on, Michael once again crushed the field, this time in the 200m individual medley. The victory was made even sweeter as his teammate and good friend, the very laid-back Ryan Lochte, brought home the bronze.
“You guys were walking off together, you guys were laughing,” Billy asked. “What are you talking about?”
“Oh I mean, we can talk about anything” Ryan said. “Most likely, it’s some girl that we saw. “
“You guys pop out of the water and you said, “Did you see the blonde in the second row, she was phenomenal?”
“That’s, like, what we basically say to each other, just, it gets our mind off everything, swimming, everything. We just talk about girls.”
And Gossip Girl was too boring, yet confusing for me last night, so I cheered myself up with Oprah again (yeah, I watched it twice…) Nate needs to leave the Botox hooker and get back to Vanessa. What a douche.
I was planning to liveblog it, but I couldn’t take my eyes off for a second because I didn’t know who I would have missed. And surpringly, instead of Michael, I think it was Mamma Phelps who got the most air time.
So, Oprah must have said Chicago like 40 times before the athletes finallycame out, and guess who was first??? Ryan Lochte! Followed by Phelps. He looked SO DAMN CUTE I COULD HAVE DIED. That curly hair just gets me. It really does. Then the male swimmers were directly behind Oprah in interviews, buttt Ryan Lochte was DIRECTLY behind Oprah, and whenever she was on I was hoping she would permanently move her head. Just think… if he was one seat over I could have seen him for a good part of the show, but I did see him a good bit. And then during some credit card thing, I think they showed Debbie Phelps like… touching his head or something. I’m pretty sure it was him. At the time I was just looking up from my Vogue. It was cute, though. And Garrett Weber-Gale was a DOLL.
Then we saw Natalie Coughlin, too! She looks so sweet, I want to be best friends with her. And Jason LEZAK! I love him, too. I wish he was my uncle. Pretty much I want to be related somehow to all Olympic swimmers, you know… except the bald kid who licks his goggles and that French slut. Oh and Dara Torres talked too She is so inspiring, but my mother like to ruin it by saying “Do you know how rich she is? Have you seen her house? She probably has a nanny, and a chef, and everyone to take care of everything for her so she can swim all day.” Thanks, ma. Watching it a second time, Ryan loked pretty damn confused when she was speaking.
Then there was Nastia and Shawn, and Kerri and Misty (Kerri is so tall!), and the basketball players, and the ADORABLE gymnasts. I actually just consider Jonathan and Justin adorable, but I like the other ones too. Just not as much. ADORABLEEEE. And OMG who saw that awkward cart wheel by a random track runner? That was so embarrassing.
And to top it all off my favorite American Idol ever DAVID COOK was there! Then all of the athletes got to go into the crowd where it looked as if Lochte was chewing gum. There was one more shot of Rye Rye and then the highlight of my month came to a close.
Oh Ryan, even if you chew gum on Oprah and are not the most eloquent speaker, I just want to let you know that I will miss you. So, so much. And that I will be watching your videos on youtube for the next four years, or until I find a new husband. But I know that one day we will serendipitously be in the same place… like Halloween Horror Nights or Daytona Beach, and I will say “hey! you’re Ryan Lochte!” after everone else forgets your name and YOU WILL fall madly in love with me. I’ll just turn 18, get myself a nose job and we will live happily ever after. It’s happening. Maybe not the nose job, but IT’S HAPPENING.
Don’t leave me!
P.S. I have decided that I want to be Rihanna ever since last nights VMAs. Or maybe Gwen Stefani. Or Pink. But mostly Rihanna.
So before there was Ryan Lochte, there was Chace Crawford, and before that there was Channing Tatum. He still holds a special place in my heart, and I still love to drool over him in She’s the Man.
But alas… he finally proposed to longtime girlfriend Jenna Dewan. HUSBAND STEALER.
Well I hope they are happy together
Over the weekend, Tatum asked her to marry him in Maui in front of close friends invited under the radar to surprise Dewan, a source confirms exclusively to PEOPLE.
Amanda Bynes was a lucky bitch.
Oh and if you haven’t seen the Phelps/stripper ass grab…
PHELPS! What are you doing! Besides your DUI, I prefer to think of you as the little boy from Baltimore who just happens to be one of the greatest athletes that ever lived. WAY TO RUIN MY FANTASIES OF YOU BEING AN INNOCENT POOL PRODIGY! Now you just look like the your average pervy guy. Gosh.
Can Disney shove anymore teen poptartyness down our throats? The answer is yes! The Jonas Brothers, or JoBros as some prefer, are getting their own TV show. Yeah. I knew this was coming, but I was hoping there would be a change of plans. They can’t even act! I got through about 5 minutes of Camp Rock.
I am sooo sick of Disney stars. If I ever see Miley Cyrus I would punch her in the face! Maybe not, but I would want to! You can not go anywhere without hearing about a Jonas, or Miley, or High School Musical stars, or now even Selena and Demi! Have you seen Wal-mart? It looks like Hannah Montana threw up all over it. I can understand why a ten year old would like all of that, but when I saw a 16 year old girl at my school with a Hannah Montana shirt I just wanted to smack her! And they’re all convinced they are marrying a Jonas Brother.
Well ladies, you can keep ‘em! I’m aiming for some Olympic swimmers.
